Thursday, March 29, 2012

When Dudes Call Women "Miserable"!


Kathy Bates - Misery

I'm sure I'm not the only one flying the coo-coo's nest when this happens.  Before I go any further, let me just say:
"I wonder why?"

Ladies, we've all heard it before, whether directed at us or at some other female we know to be a no-nonsense individual.

With the hurried and stressful pace of most of our lives; busy schedules, needy children (and spouses), household chores, traffic, work deadlines and countless other daily and much needed tasks to be done, WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T BE? This crazy world we live in considers this frenzied, frazzled woman as the norm. The ability to breeze through your days with relative ease and comfort, you're envied and considered "Wonder Woman"!

Men are usually the culprits who coin this phrase and don't seem to realize that most women work far more on average than they do. Many men complain of having to work physically demanding and strenuous jobs to provide financially for their families but never think about what we women do to contribute in every other way.  We already ARE "Wonder Women" in my opinion! How many men do you know can cook dinner for four, make sure the kids eat, complete homework, take a bath, get ready for bed, sort out tomorrow's wears and schedule, stitch a button back on a shirt, remember to call mom AND eat dinner AT THE SAME TIME? Not many right? This goes particularly for women with children because parenting does not come with weekends off and paid vacations.  It is filled with emotional, spiritual, psychological and physical demands that take more of you than can ever be understood by those who are childless. It takes all of you to raise a child.

That isn't the issue however. The problem comes when everyday tasks become overwhelming due to the giving of too much of ourselves to others and not saving enough time for US.  I think the term "miserable" really should be corrected. "Drained", "burnt out", "tired" or "exhausted" would be better accepted. Many men still feel as though it is and should be a woman's job to care for the domestic needs of the household. This puts tremendous stress and frustration on women and we then become the very word we resist so fervently...MISERABLE! We become miserable after yelling "S.O.S" and trying to say that we're tired only to have it fall on deaf ears. (Will a 5 year old hear "I'm tired Tommy" and come and lead you to your bed, take off your shoes for you and serve dinner?) Clearly, when we are in need of a break, we must take it. Remembering that we deserve "Me-Time" is of utmost importance. (Surely not neglecting the needs of our young.) When the man in our lives hear this, it signals "Let me get the HELL out of here!"

If you find yourself becoming like the picture on top, simply remember to:
  • Give yourself a much needed time-out. 
  • Stop comparing yourself to others. 
  • Stop trying to be perfect.  

A good approach is to start setting boundaries for yourself  and those around you. Do not opt to be a live-in slave but instead, try to live life as if it is your own. Find something that interests you or that you are passionate about so that you have to find time out of the day for it. Another good tip is to ask for what you need more. Ask and it shall be given. Seek and you shall find.  We'll find that many times we do not get the help we need simply because we are not asking for it. We toil and toil, sub-consciously expecting held from others or some sort of praise or recognition when others are too caught up in their daily stress to even notice. This is how misery lives! Secret expectations that are never met!

Never be afraid of giving yourself ample time to complete something. There's no gun to your head and this is by no means procrastination. It is simply practising patience and slowing the moments of life down enough for them to matter. Misery is often the result of worry and fear as well. Worry about what you did or didn't do yesterday and fear of what will take place tomorrow. These are two days of every week you NEED to take off - YESTERDAY and TOMORROW! We should only focus on the present and life will be much sweeter. 

Come to think of it now, it is far from feminism. Some men only see misery because they themselves are experts at creating it! They carry negative vibes wherever they go and when their obnoxious and pessimistic behaviour is not tolerated, then they try to tear us down to their level. In that case, I refuse to let misery live!

 Video on avoiding burnout. 


  1. Surwit shows that: "stress management techniques, when added to standard care, helped reduce glucose levels".
    Its symptoms include the following:MAJOR SYMPTOMS OF
    DEPRESSIONo Miserable frame of mind over a period of time, sometimes in a number of weekso
    Expresses grief in activities and life in general, and fails to feel satisfactiono
    Disheartened thinking - negative approach about oneself, the present and the futureo Difficulty in focusing and rememberingo Under the dilemma in making decisions - often even the more simple
    oneso Feelings of unimportance and desperationo Anxiety -
    a sense of being afraid - that something "dreadful" is going to
    happeno Phobias or doubts about specific situationso Loss
    of appetite and weight loss or, alternatively, increased
    appetite and weight gaino Disrupted sleeping patterns
    - not much sleep or wanting to sleep all the timeo Feeling weary and lacking in
    energy and inspirationo Loss of interest in sexo Physical symptoms - aches and pains, gastrointestinal upsets, headacheso Incapacity
    to do the usual everyday activitieso Thoughts of suicide - Various people do not try to find treatment in the early stage of depression as they started to observe such symptoms
    and thought that it will just pass away in a period of time,
    not noticing how severe the health problem can
    be. Usually, depression can be said as a mental state
    characterized by pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack
    of activity.
    My webpage

  2. Depression is truly debilitating and can affect all facets of your life. Awareness, gratitude and proactivity are the keys to disable sadness.


What do you think?

Sue Views