Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Emotional Vampire - "I 'Van To Sak Your Blad!"


Ever encountered a person so negative, hopeless and pessimistic that you're counting the seconds to get away from them? If you answered "yes", then you have been attacked by an emotional vampire, and yes, they do exist!
These 'vampires' come in different categories. Mainly:
  • The Drama King/Queen - This type usually makes a huge deal of nothing at all and can cause sheer pandemonium in settings where others aren't aware of what is happening. Kind of like 'New York', Flava Flav's infamous groupie from The Flavor of Love Show a few years ago. This woman deserved an award for blowing things out of proportion!
  • The Victim - Woe is me! These are the ones who feel as though the whole world is out to get them. They believe others are plotting vicious schemes against them for some reason or another and can come up with the most elaborate stories of who has wronged them in the past.
  • The Narcissist - They think the Earth revolves around them. Everyone must stop in their tracks, throw down their coat for them to step on and let them in! Me, me me! What about me???
  • The Controller - These are dreaded the worst. They want to have absolute power over the situation at all times and find it difficult not to tell you what to do. They always think they have the answer and usually start out by saying, "You know what you should do...". They would love to dictate your words and actions, even your thoughts. IF YOU LET THEM!
  • The Talker - Oh my Gosh! Ever tried squeezing one word in edgewise but can't, despite all your efforts? Well, this type believe they know it all and want the rest of us to believe it too! They ramble on and on and when you do, somehow, gain a second or two to comment on something, you find that you are either cut to an entirely different topic!
This can be totally frustrating to anyone to the point where you just want to end the conversation altogether. In my 28 years on beautiful Earth, I have experienced the dreadful 'suck' of countless amounts of these beings. Sometimes on a daily basis. Oftentimes, you don't even realize you are a victim of such an 'attack' until after the encounter has ended. In order to better discern a mere monotonous conversation from a true 'Twilight' moment, here are a few clues that show that the life blood is being sucked from your veins:
  • You suddenly become physically drained and feel as though you want to lie down.
  • You're short of breath and anxious. Eagerly anticipating the end of this experience.
  • You've suddenly gotten ADHD and can't seem to focus on any one thing anymore.You're trying your hardest to preoccupy yourself with other things.
  • You crave a chocolate bar, pastry or even a cigarette to give you a mood boost.
I was watching a TV show a few days ago and lady gave an interesting remedy for this problem. Simply, in the case of:
The Narcissist - Do notice their good traits and don't take them too seriously. This will only lead to frustration because of their disregard for your feelings or concerns.
The Victim - Try not to get too deep in their self-pity. The complaints will be never-ending so if you're not a licensed therapist, don't try to keep up!
The Controller - These are the ones you have to 'wear loosely'. They will try to break your confidence so remain strong and assert your opinion. In many cases you just have to agree that you two disagree on many things.
The Drama King/Queen - Go about your activities as you normally do, avoiding the temptation to try and protect them from themselves. When they see that you're not being phased, they more than likely will calm it down a notch.
The Talker - Use distractions such as the television to tune them out or leave the room for air.
Remembering to set limitations and be in control of your own experiences will go a long way in dealing with these types of people. I find from my own experiences that being active is a great way of avoiding these types of people. Being sedentary and bored is the only way they have so much time to think of such mental manipulations. The saying goes, "Idle hands are the Devil's playthings". The same goes for idle minds! Surround yourself with folks who bring you joy and make your life feel more meaningful. Emotional vampires try to take away others' power in their own twisted ways. You must remain in control and never let your conscience trick you into feeling guilty for wanting to be happy. Life's too short!

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