Thursday, February 10, 2011

When do you know it's time to move on?



♥ Most of us have a subliminal/common sense which tells us when something is wrong. Just as this is so in general situations, it is so in relationships. We can sense tension brewing and sometimes two people can't help but to aggravate the drama by wearing their egos on their sleeves and causing sheer pain for their partners.
No matter how 'in love' you were at one time, things change in life and so do the dynamics of your relationships. Some changes take place gradually and other do immediately. Some you are willing to compromise on and try to ameliorate and then others, are cardinal sins that you can neither forgive nor forget.
When do you know that it might be time to move on and find happiness within yourself, rather than with someone else? In my opinion, your gut tells you what the right thing to do is. These are the top reasons, to me, that two people should call it quits:
  • Infidelity - Although one might forgive a partner if he/she made a mistake and confessed to it apologetically, there's just no forgetting when it's more than once and the guilty one shows no sign of change or remorse. You will only be hurt again, who knows how many more times and with what consequences. Or, if you are with someone who is already married and there is no sign of them leaving their spouses.
  • Abuse - Should never, under any circumstances be tolerated. Whether it's physical, verbal, sexual, emotional or psychological. Many abusers are quite apologetic and merely do this to not seem like 'the ultimate bad guy' and to keep his/her victim until next time. Two people ought to have a certain level of respect for each other and when that respect diminishes, it's time to saddle up and head out!
  • Incompatibility - Is as serious to me as the above. When two people are so incompatible that there's a constant battle over the slightest issue, then it's just not worth it in the long run. The bickering and turmoil that encompasses the your time spent as a couple can lead to dreadful outcomes. When you fight so often that each and every time it is taken to a new level of rage, then that spells T R O U B L E!
  • Meddling family/friends - If one partner is allowing it by spreading information and you disagree and think that others not only have no right to know the intimate details of your relationship and/or that they should not be involved. This tension can be overbearing when you are looked down upon by people and have no clue as to what they may have really been told.
  • Non-commitment - Unless you want to be single for the rest of your life, a relationship, to me, is pointless if your partner is not willing to commit to you and settle down, unless both of you agreed to be 'friends with benefits' from the beginning.
  • Addiction - This really speaks for itself.  Who wants to be the life-long victim, nurse and psychiatrist of an alcoholic or drug addict? I sure don't!
  • Faded Attraction - When someone says that they don't feel the same way about you or are not really that attracted to you any longer, then it is time to say "Bye,bye,bye" because I have never known that to return once you get a new hairstyle or dress. What they're saying is "it's not you, it's me" but deep inside, it is YOU that they've lost the attraction for. Not your hair.
Of course there are many other reasons that people split up, however, these are the most common and ones most important to me. We may choose to forgive countless times but that is totally up to you and based on a case by case basis.
We must value ourselves more than we value others at some point. Many people stay in horrible conditions for far too long because they have lost their sense of self and self esteem and hopes in ever finding love in a sincere and genuine companion again. We were all created for love and to love. As long as we are alive, there is hope for love.♥

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